I can’t believe they oblitered straight men like that
That was a wild goddamn ride
god this was worth the read
there are guys in my dorm who decided to play cards in the elevator
see what intrigues me about college isn’t the intellectual pursuit or the bonding or whatever, its the fact that people have the freedom to do random shit like this
Okay, everybody, I have a story about random shit in college. When I was in college, there was a particular class I took where, no matter what time you walked into class, if you made it into the room before the professor, you wouldn’t be counted late. I mean, that’s a pretty cool policy, given how some professors are really obnoxious about attendance.
Well, one time, a fellow student of mine was running late to class. As she reached the edge of the building, she saw her professor making it to the front steps (super long rectangular building here). He looks up from walking and he sees her. He then points to his watch, gives her a well-meaning “Look who’s late” face, and walks on inside.
What he didn’t know, though, was that this particular student was like freakishly good at bouldering and related climbing skills, so she was just like “Fuck it” and SCALED THE BUILDING!
She tapped on the window of the 4th floor classroom (the floors had like 20ft ceilings, so, she was quite a ways up there), nearly making one student piss himself. They opened the window, she rolled through, onto the floor, and slid into her seat about five seconds before the professor opened the door to the classroom.
He did a double take, started to say “How the hell d—” when a security guard ran in, red-faced and panting, pointed at her and bellowed “STOP DOING THAT!”
omfg the amount of fucks college kids don’t give astounds me
IVE ONLY SEEN THIS POST IN SCREENSHOTS
I LOVE THE IMPLICATION THAT THIS STUDENT HAS A REPUTATION FOR SCALING THE BUILDINGS
you’re really cute and its ruining my life because i think about kissing you all the time
A guy named Andrew had a Starbucks Gold card (which gets you a free drink of your choice after you buy 12) and a single goal: to beat the previous world record for the most expensive Starbucks drink ever.
As anyone who has accomplished anything in life will tell you, thorough prep is key to achieving your goals. With 128-ounce glass in hand, Andrew stepped into Starbucks and enlisted the help of his friendly local Starbucks baristas.
Thus, the legend of the Sexagintuple Vanilla Bean Mocha Frappuccino was born. Total cost: $54.75. But for Gold-card holding Andrew, it was free.
And guess what? They’re changing the whole damn policy now. Instead of one free drink of choice, you’ll have a $4 off coupon. So, good job, asshole. You ruined it for everyone.
don’t talk to me unless you can quote this entire scene from memory
Barrack and Michelle need to reenact this before he steps down from office
So I just need to get this off my chest:
For me David Kawena from Lilo and Stitch is the ultimate Disney prince because he is there for Nani AND Lilo and even Stitch despite everything that’s going on in their lives. They’re going through some tough stuff. Their parents die and all of the sudden Nani has to be a mom to her sister who is socially awkward and depressed and that’s hard enough as it is and then she gets her this ‘dog’ and everything gets harder and even though she can’t return David’s feelings he’s still there for them through everything. Even aliens. He’s amazing. I was watching Lilo and Stitch with my niece the other day and I cried watching David go through it all. He is the perfect guy. Like I just get emotional thinking about him.
Imagine if you had someone like David in your life - male or female. You would feel like a prince/princess even if you were living with next to nothing.
David is the ultimate Disney prince - even though he isn’t a Disney prince. He should be considered one.
Disney rant - over.
Reminder that David:
-has no curse to break
-does not have a deadline/ultimatum to find a wife
-has no financial/social gain from being with Nani
-is told ¼ of the way into the movie that Nani is too busy to worry about dating him AND PROCEEDS TO BE HELPFUL AND SUPPORTIVE ANYWAY.
David’s not a Disney prince because he’s too fucking awesome for that title.
AN ACTUAL NON-IRONIC,NON-SELF DESCRIBING NICE GUY.
A PROPER HUMAN BEING.
reblog this post with a cool animal species lets make a wholesome thread
ok ill give a headstart:
i really like leopard seals
axolotls are p rad
I LOVE THOSE
potoos look like muppets and i ove tem
here’s a quokka it’s like someone decided to splice together a wallaby and a teddy bear they literally always look like a benevolent cartoon
i don’t think you can get more wholesome than that adorable lil seed-eating smiley face. they’re not even like dolphins, cute on the outside and evil on the inside. they’re herbivores about the size of a cat. there is nothing wrong with them.
The Springhaas, or “irl pikachu” as it is sometimes known, is basically a rat shaped like a bunny abruptly caught in the middle of trying to evolve into a kangaroo. This is why they tend to look startled.
This is a dik dik. They are tiny antelopes from southern and eastern Africa–seriously so smol. With teeny hooves and teeny horns and big soulful eyes. And the name is fun to say. It comes from the alarm call that the females make. They live together in monogamous pairs.
Long Eared Jerboa
The adorable mash-up of a hamster, bunny, and kangaroo. Whiskers with no end, ears that put a fennec to shame, and adorability beyond measure!
bringing this back on your dashes
This is the paradise tree snake of southeast Asia:
Pretty, right?
But that’s not even the best part…
These guys can actually flatten out their bodies and…
FUCKING GLIDE FROM TREE TO TREE HOLY FUCK IS THAT AWESOME OR WHAT
Ratufa indica. Look at this awesome purpley squirrel.
Okay, this Tumblr game looks fun for once.
Image by Richard Bartz, under CC BY-SA 2.5.
The lammergeier (Gypaetus barbatus), a bone-eating, goat-dropping dragon bird that wears makeup.
Fruit bats.
No special reason, I just like fruit bats and think they deserve more love.
Capybaras cause they’re basically really friendly rats the size of a large dog.
Also they apparently get along with just about everyone and everything. They’re just friendly giant rats that are adorable and they deserve more love.
The honduran white bat is tiny and fluffy.
Platypus!
One of only two mammals that lay eggs, has a venomous spur, can detect electricity, and so fuckin’ weird people thought they were a hoax at first.
Botos - pink river dolphins - are amazing.
When the Amazon rises, they swin amongst the trees and eat fruit.
Also, in local legends, they transform into pretty young men who seduce girls.
the vaquita!!! they’re the smallest and most endangered porpoises on the planet
this is a picture of a calf but they usually grow to 140.6 cm (4.6 ft)
leopard geckos absolutely have to be on this list!! i love them, they are my children
This guy is a hoatzin, also known as a stinkbird. Because it stinks. Like really really bad. ‘Cause it solely subsides on plant matter, which it ferments in its giant crop that, combined with its short wings, make it too awkward to fly properly. It’s a stinky, useless bird that is actually doing pretty okay despite being clumsy and having a specialized diet ‘cause it smells so bad that most things don’t want to eat it. Supposedly it tastes as nasty as it smells.
Also, the babies have little claws on their wings that help them grip on branches and stuff. They fall off when they get older, but still. LOOK AT IT. LOOK AT THEM. LITTLE DINOSAURS.
I love hoatzins. I love these smelly horrible babies.
What a good post! Here’s Elaphodus cephalophus, aka, a Tufted Deer! Like other, boring-er deer, but with FANGS and a cool hairdo!
I offer you, the highland cow!
They’re a scottish breed of cattle that come in quite the range of colors, have long wavy coats and long horns.
Also their calves look like literal stuffed animals.
Highland coos! So cute.
This here is a coquí (co-KEE) - it is a teensy eensy tree frog whose name comes from the incredibly loud (considering their size) sound they make. They chill out in Puerto Rico and at night they sound like a chorus of fairy car alarms going off.
